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General Forum => General Discussion => : Wrenchbender May 06, 2016, 12:23:02 PM

: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Wrenchbender May 06, 2016, 12:23:02 PM
My daughter is currently a junior at FSU.  She is minoring in French and so will be studying for a month this summer in a program the university runs in Paris.  FSU has a permanent facility in Paris and conducts a lot of supervised activities for the group.  But she will have some personal time to explore on her own.

I am retired from the Air Force after 33 years.  I have been all over the world (Europe, Central & South America, Northern Africa and the Mideast), explored a lot of the third world without any fear for my personal safety.  I don't believe that it's really much less safe than any major city in America.

But I'm 6'2" and 215 lbs.  We're talking about my daughter.

I'm not even sure if pepper spray is legal in Paris, let alone tasers, etc.  And I'm sure that getting such items on an international flight would be EXTREMELY problematic.

So, I freaking out just a little bit here.  What can I do to help protect my daughter who is so sure that nothing bad will ever happen to her ("Dad, security in Paris will be so high because of the attacks, I'll be fine."), and will be halfway around the world from me being able to rush to the rescue?  As inflated as my self-opinion is, I know that I'm not Liam Neeson...
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Toxoph May 06, 2016, 12:52:36 PM
Theyre our kids and we will always worry about them, I would be concerned too but I'm sure she'll be ok and as you know, travel will be a great experience for her.

As for personal defence, I recommend signing her up for a crash course in a self defence class, if she will do it. Just the basics to escape and evade, using everyday items for defence like pens and keys. Something I am always preaching to my son is situational awareness.

Though possible, the odds are extremely low for harm from an attack.
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: fla_native May 06, 2016, 12:57:03 PM
Not much you can do. They will grow up no matter what you do.
Think back to when you were 20. If stupid was terminal I wouldnt be typing this right now! Luckily, Its not. Kids eventually realize that they arent 10 ft tall and bullet proof.... And usually survive it! ;)
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Wrenchbender May 06, 2016, 01:21:08 PM
I know.  I survived being 21 too.  ;)

But that was a LOOOOOOONG time ago.  Things were very different.  There were no recent terrorist attacks in Paris and Brussels. 

And as wound up as I am about her safety, my wife is bordering on a breakdown over our daughter going where the threat of a terrorist attack is much greater.  She has actually suggested that I go to Paris as well.  :o

Of course my daughter won't take a self-defense class.  She's too busy, everything will be okay, and I just worry too much.
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: hiking4life May 06, 2016, 02:55:53 PM
You could have her watch Taken..LOL

But she needs to have top notch SA at all times. Being a female anywhere automatically can her at a higher risk.

Always stay with a group, be aware of what's going on around you, just basics really is all you can do unfortunately.
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: cavedweller May 08, 2016, 07:14:26 AM
Honestly, I would send her with anything to defend herself.  As it will be problematic everywhere.  Even carrying a pocket knife could be an issue with the fact she will be going to museums and other attractions. With the little bit of time left teach her how to think and handle situations.

Situational awareness will keep one's self out of most problems over there.  Like knowing where are the Muslim neighborhoods and staying out of them at night.  Knowing when you are going to get hustled, being able to get away quickly.  Not making yourself look like a target.

It's France, everyone is rude.  Americans are nice and we have "l'aire American", so people will try and take advantage of that. It's a smart move to just be rude and walk past people that try and stop the you. 
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Wrenchbender May 08, 2016, 10:21:55 AM
Strangely enough, both pepper spray (2 oz) and tasers (non-projectile) are LEGAL for anyone to carry in France.  :o  Of course, it can only be used for self-defense after the assault has STARTED.  Seems like they need to touch you before you can act.  >:(

Still, it's better than nothing.

My wife's sister was a chaperone on her son's high school trip to Paris a few years back.  She was given some training on "situational awareness" over there and is coming down here to give my daughter a crash-course on staying safe.

And of course, Dad will be giving all the tips and pointers he can until she disappears into the TSA checkpoint at the airport...
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: cook May 10, 2016, 01:03:08 PM
Tell her to start letting her armpit hair grow out,she will blend right in. O0
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Floridaclipper May 10, 2016, 01:06:16 PM
What a wonderful opportunity for her. At some point we have to let them go and hope they remember what we taught them over the years. Not an easy thing to do.

Perhaps review some "what if's" ie you get seperated from a group one could just use their phone. In an event and chaos the phones may not work. Could she find her way using a map/gps to a pre-identified "possible" safe place (school/emabassy/church etc) near what ever activity she is doing that day? What if something happens in a museum/mall does she know how to get out and avoid being trampled. You may want to consider asking her to carry a loud ear piercing whistle and a blinding flashlight as part of her edc. I assume there is some sort of family code word messaging system in place and suggested/mandatory check in calls with you.

Would an emergency beacon be a comfort to have? I know of at least one (Delorme Inreach) that has 2 way communication vs just a prerecorded message and has gps and other features you may like. I'll warn you it's a little pricey but other than an emp you should be able to reach each other no mater what the situation is if she has access to it. 
http://www.inreachdelorme.com/product-info/

Good luck to you. I hope she has a fun filled trip with many memories.
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Wrenchbender May 11, 2016, 10:59:40 AM
  
Would an emergency beacon be a comfort to have? I know of at least one (Delorme Inreach) that has 2 way communication vs just a prerecorded message and has gps and other features you may like. I'll warn you it's a little pricey but other than an emp you should be able to reach each other no mater what the situation is if she has access to it. 
http://www.inreachdelorme.com/product-info/
She does actually have a Spot GPS Satellite Messenger in her college dorm BOB (although she lives off-campus now).  It's a one-way comm, but I would at least be able to contact the American Embassy and tell them where to go and get her in an emergency.  I'll check into the Delorme Inreach though...
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Americantrek09 May 14, 2016, 03:16:44 PM
Foolish, simply foolish.
Not a good place to be, and certainly not a wise place to go if you are American......
They'll know, oh they'll know.
You can't fix stupid and you can't fix dead.
Best you both talk about this more and come to a better understanding of the pro and cons of such travel.
Poking a hornet's nest in a lightening storm will get you undesirable results all the way around.
Be wise, be safe, be alive.
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: The Expendable May 15, 2016, 10:59:35 AM
I know this is little consolation, but just remember that for every bad story you hear about, not matter how evil, there are millions of good stories that never make the news.  For every rude French person, there are countless warm and friendly people there who will be watching over your daughter.  My wife used to work at the Orlando Sentinel.  Her boss told her once, "News, by nature, is bad."  That has stuck with me all these years.  It's true... we never hear the good stories, only the bad.  It's human nature to worry about the 1% instead of focusing on the 99%.  I am not exempt from this way of thinking... I worry about plane crashes whenever I have to fly, even though I know that flying is incredibly safe.

Honestly, you have more to worry about that your daughter will become "Frenchified" and stop shaving her armpits and wearing deodorant!   uuuj

Seriously, your daughter will have a great time!
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: Wrenchbender May 15, 2016, 07:03:56 PM
  
Foolish, simply foolish.
Not a good place to be, and certainly not a wise place to go if you are American......
They'll know, oh they'll know.
You can't fix stupid and you can't fix dead.
Best you both talk about this more and come to a better understanding of the pro and cons of such travel.
Poking a hornet's nest in a lightening storm will get you undesirable results all the way around.
Be wise, be safe, be alive.
That's my gut response.

However, I can't stop living life because of fear and I won't try to convince my daughter to either.

That doesn't mean there's no room for reasonable prudence.  Teach her how to handle herself and take precautions.  That's all I can do because she's all grown up and I can't ground her anymore.  >:(

  
I know this is little consolation, but just remember that for every bad story you hear about, not matter how evil, there are millions of good stories that never make the news.  For every rude French person, there are countless warm and friendly people there who will be watching over your daughter.  My wife used to work at the Orlando Sentinel.  Her boss told her once, "News, by nature, is bad."  That has stuck with me all these years.  It's true... we never hear the good stories, only the bad.  It's human nature to worry about the 1% instead of focusing on the 99%.  I am not exempt from this way of thinking... I worry about plane crashes whenever I have to fly, even though I know that flying is incredibly safe.

Honestly, you have more to worry about that your daughter will become "Frenchified" and stop shaving her armpits and wearing deodorant!   uuuj

Seriously, your daughter will have a great time!

I know she will, but I'm a Dad and it's in the job description to worry about our little girls.
: Re: OMG, my daughter is going to FRANCE!!!
: The Expendable May 15, 2016, 07:49:37 PM
  

  
I know this is little consolation, but just remember that for every bad story you hear about, not matter how evil, there are millions of good stories that never make the news.  For every rude French person, there are countless warm and friendly people there who will be watching over your daughter.  My wife used to work at the Orlando Sentinel.  Her boss told her once, "News, by nature, is bad."  That has stuck with me all these years.  It's true... we never hear the good stories, only the bad.  It's human nature to worry about the 1% instead of focusing on the 99%.  I am not exempt from this way of thinking... I worry about plane crashes whenever I have to fly, even though I know that flying is incredibly safe.

Honestly, you have more to worry about that your daughter will become "Frenchified" and stop shaving her armpits and wearing deodorant!   uuuj

Seriously, your daughter will have a great time!

I know she will, but I'm a Dad and it's in the job description to worry about our little girls.

I would do (and do) the same thing.  That's what dads do.